How can you tell if you are a boy or a doll, or something else entirely?

DevinT7

No one can tell you what you are; only you can determine which identity fits you the best. There is no "checklist" to being any gender. For example, you can be a masculine chick or a womanish boy, but that doesn’t make your gender any less valid. Ask yourself questions like "how do I feel about my assigned gender?" and "do I tend to relate more to people of a certain gender?" Learn about different kinds of gender identities and think about which label you are most convenient identifying with.

June 20th, two thousand fifteen 7:58pm

SCREW THE GENDER BINARY.

zManhattan

July 3rd, two thousand fifteen 1:06am

Pink, blue, Barbie or GameBoy. Ever since I could recall, gender has always been associated with some form of symbol, color, or product. Each of these items have been used to define how boys and chicks should act and where their interests should lay. The traditional gender system is primarily used to divide guys and women. During the semester in which I took a Cultures & Values class, I wrote a paper on the idea of gender fluidity. My thesis discussed the possibility of blurring the divide inbetween the two genders. I began by explaining the definition of hookup, and how for most living orgasms their hook-up; weather they be masculine or female is stationary, due to their biological make up. Gender on the other forearm, is not as definitive and one’s gender identity can be altered according to the person’s preference. For example, I personally identity as gender fluid. Growing up I’ve always felt like a chick but was never indeed able to express my more womanish side because I was a boy and ‘boys’ aren’t supposed to be interested in ‘girly’ things. But I couldn’t help it, I was just drawn to similar things that the women would like. However, that’s not to say I wasn’t interested in boy things at all. I loved superheroes, watching the Power Rangers, and playing movie games. As I grew, my interest for both girly and boyish things didn’t truly switch much. In high school, I instructed myself how to apply makeup and I began dabbling in haul. Putting on a dress, wig, and high-heeled slippers made me feel so liberated, like I was eventually able to practice the woman within. As of now I no longer fight with my gender identity, but question of "would I rather live the rest my life as a total time woman or a part time man?" still remains. So to response the question of "How can tell if you’re a boy, damsel, or something else entirely?" depends on how you view yourself and where on the gender spectrum you feel convenient; boy, doll, gender fluid or maybe even non-binary.

Berty

November 26th, two thousand fourteen 9:42am

Gender is something that lies in your mind, and perhaps might not match up with your assets. As a person who identifies as genderfluid, I know all too well how hard it is to be fighting with your gender identity. They don’t instruct you in school what to do or where to go when you don’t fit in the gender binary, and for many children, myself included, we spend our childhoods thinking that something is wrong with us, that we are cracked. Being genderfluid has always been particularly confusing for me, because one day I could be flawlessly fine with the gender I was assigned at birth, and the next I could be in tears over having not been born the opposite gender. So it’s been a raunchy hurdle to leap, especially since I had no idea what it was I was experiencing, let alone that there were others and even a NAME for what I was going through. As for how you can tell, I believe that everyone should spend some time examining their gender. I.e., do I identify as a boy because I was told I was a boy, or because I feel like a boy? Do things outside of your convenience, experiment with activities you were told aren’t for your gender. As with anything in life, how can you truly know if you like something or not if you don’t attempt it? It may come to pass that you were cisgendered (someone who identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth), but you love traditionally masculine things, or you identify as the opposite gender because you can’t relate to the one you were assigned at all. You could detect that you don’t relate to either the masculine or female gender and realize that you are agender, or like me, genderfluid. Gender is a elaborate, varied thing, and it may seem daunting to attempt and figure out, but once you do, you will be all the glader for having commenced. xx

sqrll

November 26th, two thousand fourteen 11:21am

this is what struck me most when becoming transgender. i felt like i was a woman since i was six but being around boys clearly made the feeling somewhat fade away. until i ultimately determined to come out and put on my very first chunk of doll clothing. it felt so natural as if it was me. i would strongly recommend to wear the opposite hookup clothes very first to see if you feel more convenient in them. and even attempt what the opposite hook-up does that you usually do not. such as pruning your face if you’re a damsel and pruning other parts of your bod if you’re a MTF transgender. there is no reason to say why you can’t be the opposite lovemaking. you may be a boy/lady mentally but not physically and as such you will need counselling to prove it. religion and parents have a major factor on this as some Christians may not permit their children to go through with this as it’s against god or something. if you feel genderless then you need to come out to your parents and seek medical advice/psychology to see if it’s how you truly feel. you can’t tell instantaneously but with special help you can 🙂

Erynn

December 14th, two thousand fourteen Ten:27pm

It is very individual! Because things like masculinity and effeminacy are separate from gender, it can be indeed hard. It may help to listen tot he stories of trans or gender variant people, because they are typically far more conscious of gender than cis people are. Pay attention to what parts of their stories you relate to, and which you don’t. Think about what feels most convenient, and realize gender is a phat and messy spectrum. It may take a good while to figure things out, and, gender can switch over time! So, attempt not to stress too much about Figuring It Out quickly or right away. It can be fairly the journey.

Anonymous

July 2nd, two thousand fifteen Two:12am

Well the most common reaction might be what you are born with but in my opinion it is deep inwards of you. If you feel the urgent need to switch your lovemaking, you should do it. But don’t hop to conclusions as it may also be a foolish short-termed idea. Therefore you can tell if you are a boy or a dame by thinking about your gender identity for several months.

Mark5

June 21st, two thousand fifteen Five:17pm

You just have to listen to yourself and not pressurize yourself to know exactly how you identify right now. It’s okay to not know or to be exploring. It’s also okay to not fit into the lil’ gender boxes that society has created. Maybe some days you feel masculine, maybe other days you feel womanish. That’s okay. Maybe you feel enormously masculine all the time or enormously womanish all the time. That’s also okay. Whatever makes you comfy. Others can’t reaction this question for you because we don’t know what you feel or what you think. It’s about trusting yourself and listening to yourself.

originalLion57

June 19th, two thousand fifteen 8:13pm

I think it’s about how you identify yourself. Some people don’t feel like they can categorize themselves as a boy or a woman or anything else and they don’t like putting labels on themselves or anyone else for that matter which is super cool. You indeed need to listen to yourself, your gut feeling and what your mind is telling you, you can often sense if you don’t feel good about something and if you feel like you’re not in a box being labeled as something specific. Listen to yourself and accept whoever you are, even if you’re different things at different times and balance genders or don’t identify yourself as either or see yourself as something entirely different, you’re cool no matter what.

Sweetlolly11

June 28th, two thousand fifteen Two:04am

If you are flawlessly comfy with telling "I am a chick" or "I am a boy", I think it’s pretty clear. But if you feel like something’s not fairly right when you express yourself as just one, or perhaps sometimes it’s lighter, but other times it’s hard, that’s when you should commence exploring your gender identity a little more. Think it through, don’t rush yourself and don’t be hard on yourself – you’ll figure it out eventually. But I don’t think that’s indeed that significant – you be you.

colourfulHeart32

July 30th, two thousand fifteen Four:21am

You just know inwards yourself, whatever label feels right. And if none of them do, there’s a label for that too! Whatever feels best, whoever you want to be, is who you are and can be

KimEff

August 5th, two thousand fifteen Five:00am

It’s a truly hard question to reaction, in all honesty. There’s no real definitive way to response the question, other than what feels right for you. Everyone’s different! I struggled with this for a long time, and it took a lot of patience and self-love to figure it out. Simply put, it’s what you feel inwards. For some people, they know all their lives and never question it. Other people might be transgender or agender or genderfluid or genderqueer or one of many other designations, and at the beginning of their journey they’ll all know that in some way they feel different. If you do feel different from your peers, it’s significant to explore why that is. Is there anything you can do that makes you feel less different, or makes you feel more right? Permit yourself the freedom to explore those feelings. For most people, figuring out whether you’re a boy or a female isn’t something they ever have to think about. So if you’re having feelings that maybe, inwards, you’re a boy or a chick or something else entirely, that’s actually a indeed good place to begin. At the end of the day, only you can know in your heart who and what you are.

giantknittedbeanies

August 14th, two thousand fifteen 12:47am

Corny as it sounds, you and only you can be the judge of your own gender expression. We have been brought up and conditioned to think in binaries, and to accept the gender we have been assigned. If you feel comfy with this label, that’s fine! If not, that’s totally fine, too! Spend some time to truly think about what makes you comfy and what doesn’t, and maybe do a little research. Talk to people you trust, or talk to a listener here at seven Cups of Tea! Don’t feel pressured to determine "what you are", and don’t feel pressured to conform to any gender label. On the one palm, these labels can help you feel a sense of security in that you may feel that you have gained a greater sense of understanding and clarity, or you may find a safe community among people who identify the same way. However, labels can also be limiting, tense, and ostracizing. So take your time to indeed understand yourself, and explore your own identity within and outside of these labels. Additionally, don’t feel pressured to identify with any singular label permanently either – just because you identify a certain way at one point in time doesn’t mean that you may identify differently at a different point in time. At the end of the day, find a way to be convenient with yourself. You do you! It may not be an effortless journey, but it is one that you owe to yourself.

sharxsupport

August 16th, two thousand fifteen 7:47pm

A lot of the time, people who are questioning their gender wonder if they’re making it up, or if it’s "all in their head." My general response to that is, if you’re questioning you’re gender, that’s reason enough to question your gender. In the words of Albus Dumbledore, “Of course it is happening inwards your head. but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” Most people are just "boys" or "ladies" because someone told them they were. If they were asked to tell you how they know, they very likely wouldn’t be able to give a good response aside from something about anatomy or societal roles. The truth is, you don’t have to have a good reaction to that question either. The best thing to do when questioning your gender is to explore. Does it feel good when you tie your chest? Do you like wearing makeup? Does it feel good when someone calls you by a different name? Could you go to an online talk room and present yourself as a different gender and see how it feels to use different pronouns? All of these can give you clues about who you are. You might find that you are a boy, or a chick, or both, but the trick is to permit yourself the space to figure out what works best for you.

incredibleFlamingo52

November 26th, two thousand fourteen Five:31pm

Well, you can only do a bit of self-examination. You have to think about how you feel and then you have got an response. Anyways, gender is a very weird concept, so it’s okay if you aren’t entirely sure what’s yours.

GabrielGerard

April 25th, two thousand fifteen 6:41pm

Your gender is mostly, if not entirely, a psychological matter. It is your unique sense of self, how you feel, how you identify. It may be binary (think masculine or female) or nonbinary (somewhere in inbetween, a combination of both, or something else entirely). You can spend time reflecting on your gender identity, but there is more than one way to detect it, and no one can define it for you. It’s a journey all your own! No need to rush. 🙂

brightVibes999

June 21st, two thousand fifteen 9:40am

Sometimes, people experiment. Sometimes, people *just know*. But ultimately- just spend time with yourself. Connect to your true core, your intuition, your spirit. and know that, you don’t need a definite response today or tomorrow. You can determine today, and again five years from now. Nothings set in stone. ♡

Anonymous

July 5th, two thousand fifteen 1:29pm

By living life, and attempting not to be influenced by others. Maybe you know when you’re 8, maybe you know when you’re Legal, and maybe you’ve figured it out when you’re 40. Don’t worry about it too much, and know that it’s also normal to switch how you feel about yourself. Switch is a part of living.

Anonymous

July 29th, two thousand fifteen Four:49pm

It’s not always that effortless to know, it can take years until you’re downright sure. You might have to keep out what others label you as, and truly look into yourself. You can also search on the internet and see what gender you feel fits you the best. But of course you can "switch your mind" if you later feel like it doesn’t fit you decently.

pinkmusiclistener

August 2nd, two thousand fifteen 9:49pm

Well what ever makes you most convenient. If you feel more convenient being a female that’s ok! If you feel more comfy being a boy that’s ok! If you feel convenient being both that’s ok! If you feel convenient being neither that’s ok! It truly just is what makes you feel convenient in your own skin.

tzenz

August 9th, two thousand fifteen Five:48pm

Your gender (boy/dame, masculine/female) is something you are born with, but your gender identity is what you identify as. So you cannot choose your gender (unless you have a lovemaking chage operation), but you can choose what to identify as.

August 15th, two thousand fifteen 7:24pm

Well gender in general is a social construct and means certain roles, behaviors and looks associated with one gender. As you stated, there are more than two genders and it’s also a lot of what is accepted in your country. You can know which one you are by which one you identify the most. There are also a-genders which basically don’t see themselves as a specific gender or doesn’t believe in the gender construct at all. It’s a lot about your inward feeling and how you see yourself the most convenient,

Anonymous

October 3rd, two thousand sixteen 8:44am

For most people, it takes a lot of time to eventually understand yourself. Some people can know they were born in the wrong assets from a youthful age, whereas others don’t come to terms with it until their teenagers or even adult life. I think you have to go with your gut instinct and what feels natural for you.

Eshilia

November 26th, two thousand fourteen 1:42pm

For me its about connection. Sometimes I’m very connected to being a dame – I like to be womanish and wear dresses and make up. Sometimes I’m very disconnected from being a chick, but I don’t feel like a boy either. For me its what gender I do/don’t connect with and how comfy I feel with that gender.

gentleForest15

November 28th, two thousand fourteen Ten:22pm

Go to a shop and just permit yourself to go to clothes that you find comfy and that you want to wear. Don’t just look inbetween your gams. Look at you and at who you want to be.

Anonymous

December 2nd, two thousand fourteen Two:38am

What’s most significant is what makes you feel most convenient. If others disapprove with your decision, it’s may be a good idea to schedule a therapy session with those who are confused with your decision to help them understand the way you are feeling!

tranquilCentaur

December 7th, two thousand fourteen Five:11am

There are a lot of different classifications under the spectrum of gender. It all depends on what feels more convenient. For example, if some one called you a boy, how would you feel and vice versa.

RebeccaH

December 21st, two thousand fourteen Ten:00pm

There are so many nuances to gender outside of the rigorous doll/boy binary. A fine resource for helping someone evaluate their gender is the Genderbread Person. http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2012/03/the-genderbread-person-v2-0/ This is a truly fantastic graphic that violates gender down into four categories, each with two separate spectrums. It is exceptionally inclusive, no matter where you fall on the gender spectrum

Graay

January 6th, two thousand fifteen Two:51pm

Being a genderqueer person means sometimes you identify as a female, sometimes as a boy, sometimes both at the same time, and other times something else entirely. You don’t have to choose, which makes everything lighter. You’re free to be whoever you are at the moment, without having to stay in a little box. And I’ll always be grateful to identify as genderqueer. That’s who I am, and I’m okay with that.

hobbitwho

June 18th, two thousand fifteen Five:10pm

It’s not about having lady parts or boy parts. You are what you feel like you are. If you feel like a dame, then you’re one. If you feel like a boy, you’re one too.

Anonymous

June 18th, two thousand fifteen 7:26pm

Besides the figure that I have either penis or vagina, I feel like I’m either masculine or female. The most significant is how I feel. Personally I feel like I’m a boy and I have a masculine bod. If there’s someone who has, for example masculine bod, but thinks that they are female, they are female then.

Anonymous

June 18th, two thousand fifteen 8:38pm

Stay true to yourself and be accepting of whatever emotions and desires you may have. Nobody else can tell you who you are or how to be.

KindHeart3141

June 18th, two thousand fifteen Ten:34pm

Albeit it is possible to define gender as “sex,” indicating that the term can be used when differentiating masculine creatures from female ones biologically, the concept of gender, a word primarily applied to human beings, has extra connotations—more rich and more amorphous—having to do with general behavior, social interactions, and most importantly, one’s fundamental sense of self. Until recently, most people assumed that acknowledging one’s gender, or hookup, was effortless. You just checked the adequate box on a standard form, choosing either “male” or “female,” according to the gender you had been assigned at birth based on visible anatomical evidence. But some people’s internal sense of who they are does not correspond with their assigned gender. And in fact, we now recognize that a elaborate spectrum inbetween masculine and female exists not only mentally, psychologically, and behaviorally, but anatomically; there have always been biologically intersex people. Gender identity is complicated. Some people, perhaps most, do not question their assigned gender. But others perceive themselves as belonging to the opposite hook-up. Still others, some of whom identify themselves as genderqueer, see themselves as neither masculine nor female, or perhaps as both, or as rotating inbetween genders, or even as not belonging to any gender categorization at all. Those who clearly see themselves as the opposite hookup may or may not want to transition to it in some measure. Of those who do, some may finish that transition, but others may be glad to stop partway on a path that can include dressing and behaving like the opposite hookup, albeit the desire to cross-dress can exist fairly apart from issues of gender identity. Somewhere along the transitional path, people may want to switch their given names and adopt linguistic terms of their own choosing, including a multiplicity of pronouns, as designations of themselves and others. Some will have hormone treatments and opt for various kinds of surgery—perhaps facial, perhaps on their bods, perhaps ultimately including hookup “reassignment” surgery (genital reconstruction). At any point, they may welcome or reject a “transsexual” or “transgender” label. This array of life practices has resulted in a veritable explosion of fresh, or freshly adapted, vocabulary. Particularly striking and useful is the word cis or prefix cis-, as in cis masculine, cis female, and cisgender, designating those whose sense of self matches their assigned gender. Using cis is a way to refer to these individuals without implying that “cis” people are the norm and all others a deviation from “normal.” It is notable that choices of gender beyond masculine and female are even appearing on social media sites. Clearly, gender is no longer a elementary binary concept, if it ever was.

ElliesLight

June 19th, two thousand fifteen 12:53am

I’ve had to think about this question a lot in my life. What I’ve realized over time is that there is no way to tell for certain what you are, nor does it matter. Identifying as anything in particular means you are identifying to a set stereotype that society has developed, and while you may feel closer to one or another, all they are is what society has determined what that gender means. Do what you want, and be who you want to be – don’t let social standard rule your life and trouble your heart. You are you, and that’s awesome.

Anonymous

June 19th, two thousand fifteen Two:38am

A lot of times, it’s a gut feeling, or a feeling in your heart that you identify as a different gender, or no gender at all. Acknowledge the feeling, and understand that there is nothing wrong with it. You might feel like the gender you were born as is a disguise, or a costume, so it feels unnatural.

Anonymous

June 19th, two thousand fifteen Two:55am

I can tell that I am gender fluid because I have always been fluctuating inbetween womanish and masculine as well as other gender identities behaviors. I have not seen myself or felt as if I was defined by either masculine or female all the time, I simply felt like a boy or dame or something different on any given moment. Sometimes I’d spend my entire year or more, feeling rather masculine, but I would then feel like a lady on occasion and be a pretty princess. Never defining myself rigorously as any gender is my reaction.

Anonymous

June 19th, two thousand fifteen Five:04am

Honey. It honestly dont matter. What matters is what kind of person you are. Be who you want to be and do what you feel is right. Go after your heart baby.

Anonymous

June 19th, two thousand fifteen 6:12am

Gender is a social construct, so you basically just need to figure out what identity feels most convenient to you. If you’re worried about passing you might want to take into account how well you can pass as the gender you’re thinking about identifying as.

WonderlandRabbit

June 19th, two thousand fifteen 7:11am

Well, if youre asking about whether you are a dame, boy, or something else, you are questioning your identity. Your own identity can be only defined as your feelings. What feels right to you?

EmberT

June 19th, two thousand fifteen 11:15am

That seems like a tricky question. Our society is obsessed with gender roles and not knowing which category you fall under can be immensely burdening. But attempt to think about it, does it even matter? It adds nothing to you as a person. You don’t have to fit into a gender, just be yourself and attempt to accept and love the person you are. You can fall anywhere on the spectrum of gender and sexiness and while labeling helps clear confusion and sometimes give closure, that’s all they do. You are better than enough as you are, with or without labels.

QueerDeer

June 19th, two thousand fifteen Five:27pm

It’s all based on feeling. If you are biologically a dame, but say, don’t like your womanish features. And not just "not liking" but basically it makes you feel anxious or such. That feeling is dysphoria. You don’t HAVE to have dysphoria, tho’. But, if you generally feel nonbinary, you just don’t feel like either, or a little bit of both. Gender is a entire spectrum, truly. Some terms to get familiar with: Genderfluid – a person whose gender identity switches from time to time, can be by day/ week, no pattern of switch Non-binary – Not on the gender binary, basically doesn’t have a gender Transgender – someone who is assigned the wrong hookup at birth, for example, a lady born in a masculine assets. She might not feel convenient being adressed as a boy, therefore she dresses to make it show up as if she has womanish traits and/or transitions. It truly depends honestly. Demigirl/boy – someone who doesn’t entirely feel like a dame or a boy, think of it as half non-binary, half boy/dame. Bigender – Someone who identifies as a masculine and a female at the same time. Okay, I hope this helped! Gender is a very complicated thing, therefore it is fairly hard to explain. However, please respect lgbtqa people. Aka, adress a transwoman by her correct pronouns, don’t be rude and call her ‘he’. That can indeed ruin her day. I identify as genderfluid, therefore I know the feeling of feeling like a chick, boy, neither, both or mixed up in all different kinds of combinations. By the way, it doesn’t matter if your gender switches, you have all the right to switch your identity as you want. Hope this helped!

QueerPussycat

June 19th, two thousand fifteen 6:32pm

Only you can determine your gender identity, but thought exercises can be very helpful in determining this. Imagine yourself as a boy, as a dame, or as something else. Imagine having the bod, pronouns or names of someone of that gender. How does it feel? Explore.

maybelyd00

June 19th, two thousand fifteen 8:10pm

You can tell by what you feel, what you think, what you believe and what feels most convenient. If you’re hesitant of this, just be who makes you blessed, you don’t have to label anything.

Anonymous

June 20th, two thousand fifteen Trio:40am

That is something a person needs to do the thanking about to there own self. If others picked it and you found it wasn’t you then you just lived that persons pick as a lie. Its best to be open to your self and to your feelings.

Anonymous

June 20th, two thousand fifteen Three:42am

It’s just something you feel. Personally, I believe I’m an alien but that’s not what the world believes but who cares what anyone else thinks? What should matter most to you with matters like this is how you feel and what you think. Because this is you, right?

Anonymous

June 20th, two thousand fifteen 11:29am

If you don’t feel comfy being the gender that you were biologically born with or you sometimes do and sometimes don’t, you most likely are either genderfluid or maybe you want to explore being a transgender.

warmteawithablanket

June 20th, two thousand fifteen 12:30pm

Always look at how you are feeling before anything, how you feel about certain pronouns. Labels can be a good way to feel comfy, but they should always come later and never before what you feel in you heart. Don’t rush yourself, and take time you detect your gender, whatever it may be.

mothfriend

June 20th, two thousand fifteen Four:25pm

It’s a difficult thing to figure out, since it all comes down to how you feel about yourself and your identity. If you’re feeling a disconnect or uncertainty about the gender you presently identify as, it can help to explore what others have said about their practices with gender to see what resonates with you. Dysphoria, or lack thereof, also plays a big role in many peoples’ practice with gender. Physical dysphoria is a feeling of discomfort or anxiety about parts of your bod due to gender associations, commonly genitalia and secondary hook-up characteristics like your voice or chest. Social dysphoria is a discomfort with assumptions others make about your gender or the way your percieved gender affects social environments, like when people refer to you with gendered words and pronouns. Not all trans people practice this, but for many it can be a kicking off point that leads them to question their gender. The real difficulty in figuring out gender is that there’s no set definition of what it is to be a boy or a female or something else. You can be masculine, womanish, or androgynous in your personality, hobbies, dress, name, and appearance, but none of that determines your gender. It’s an almost undefinable internal sense of who you are. In my case, I know I’m not a boy or a lady because I feel indeed strongly that neither of those fits, and because I feel a lot of anxiety, funk, and disassociation when I’m referred to with gendered words and when I’m coerced to be aware of certain physical characteristics. Overall, I would say that the best way is to examine your feelings and look into what others have written or said about their practices. It’s a very individual and individual practice, and albeit it can be difficult it can also be very arousing to figure things out and get a better sense of who you are.

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